Hello to All:
Glad to be back. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, kinda determined to finish the book I’m reading.
I have to say I’m feeling a sense of peace in my heart and I thank God for that. He continues to bless me and never leaves my side.
One topic came to my mind as I was catching up with my fellow bloggers. Realizing where I was and where I stand today. I once was in a very unhealthy relationship where everything that could go bad in a relationship, happened in that relationship. From physical to mental abuse, cheating, we broke up every summer, it was absolutely chaotic. I was in a place in my life where I really did not value myself or what I had to offer as a woman, as a friend or as a human being. It was a perfect example why you should completely heal from one heart break before you proceed to let someone else in your heart. Before the 4 year relationship I was in bad relationship as well, I didn’t take my time to heal from that one. The consequences of not taking the time to heal is that your scars are still fresh, and when you add someone else to the picture it makes it worse, because your scars open wider and are more painful.
When I was in the 4 year relationship and everything was going wrong, I thought I deserved it. I thought that I wasn’t good enough to be treated like a queen and have men hold doors for me and treat me with respect. But I learned that the way you treat yourself is how others are gonna treat you. You set the stage for people when you first meet them, you create the standards they have to get to if they want to be a part of your life. I would say that a lot of my troubles in life came due to immaturity but most of it came from being so hard headed and stubborn. When I found myself one day crying in a corner, because a man put his hands on me again, I knew something had to give and it was up to me whatever outcome I wanted out of my life.
At that point I looked up to the heavens and said “God I’m tired of trying this thing called life on my own, I obviously don’t know what I’m doing please help me”. When God put it in my heart to change my ways, my manners, my routines, including my friends, my life changed for the better. I don’t regret anything I’ve been through in this life because its made me who I am, but I thank God he heard my cry when He did. Now I’m not bad mouthing the two men I was in bad relationships with. At the end of the day, I was the stupid one for staying and giving them the message that what they were doing was okay, I wasn’t perfect in the relationship either, I am a true puertorican at heart and I had a short fuse (with God that all has changed, praise the Lord). They are good men and nowadays doing fine. I don’t hold grudges, I don’t believe in that. Holding grudges make you ugly and I don’t have time for that.
Once I got in line and changed my ways, God allowed my husband to come into my life. He is a wonderful husband and I thank God for him everyday. Nobody is perfect but we talk and get through things, communication is key in a marriage and this is my last time getting married. 😉
I just thank God for the life I have now and all the blessings that come with it. I can breath in peace because God has control of everything.