Mind over matter… Spirit over soul… It’s part of overcoming… as we give God control. For souls are emotional… and cause us to react… but spirits commune with God… and His responses are exact.
For we are all spirits…
sent down from above…
to overcome all obstacles…
with God’s Grace and Love.
Sometimes there are secrets that can’t be told or feelings that can’t be felt. The intensity of the emotions are too hurtful to face. Unable to confront your past it’s hard to deal with your present and intolerable to imagine the future.
How did you get here or how did everything get out of hand? How is it that you can’t express your emotions? Because they are entangled in your heart along with the memories that hurt you and won’t let you have peace. Unable to function with what life has given you and only able to think about how bad it all is. It seems impossible the thought of you being able to get out of this state of mind. It seems as though no matter what you do, life hands you another pack of issues to deal with. How do you withstand the changes and how life fluctuates right before your eyes without a warning? All you have to go by is faith, faith in what? The missing factor in your life. You always have had faith but you continue to deal with all this hurt and mistrust everyday of your life. Why you? How come you are not normal, able to feel normal? How is it that despite all your good deeds, all your efforts to help others it’s still not enough to get you by with a little bit of slack, a little bit of peace? You try to sleep and the pain awakens you, the loneliness haunts you and you’re unable to get rid of it. Your eyes weep from fear and the tears just don’t stop. No matter what you do they just won’t stop.
You cover your eyes, shut them closed in hopes of opening them and realizing that it’s going to be okay. That you will be okay, that all of your fears will go away and you will be able to breathe. As if you were being relieved of all the pain, heaviness in your heart and all the memories which cause you harm. The world turns into a better place and you smile. Your smile is the start of a fresh day with hope of all beautiful things about to happen for you. And it’s at that moment when you realized that you can do this thing called life, that you will be okay, that there is no doubt you will be able to make it no matter how hard life becomes. Your dreams are obtainable, they are realistic. All your pain subsides and you no longer feel that heaviness which haunted you every day. Your life changes for the better and your faith returns, your faith in God your faith in YOU!
How I truly feel tonight?
That’s the question of the night. How do I put all of my feelings of anxiety and peace all in one page. I can’t help the way that I am, neither can I help the way I feel. Can I help how I act out my feelings? Yes, I will, and so I do. I continuously revise and review my situations, so I act out the way I’m meant to act out or not act out at all.
On another note, I am being impulsive and changing my mind about different situations all of a sudden because I rather concentrate on other issues rather than what I am really going to be facing, and that is a rotator cuff repair.
How do I ease myself and emotions into my life? And something my son just said made so much sense, it was completely out of context, but he said “you gotta flirt”. Honestly you have to just love life and everything that comes with it. We can’t continuously fight against the truth that lies before us, sometimes we have to learn to accept and say it will be okay. Not everything that will come towards us will be things we like, but its okay because it will pass, and it will get better. Now lets not ignore our feelings for the things we are facing, its okay to be scared, and its okay to cry because of it. But you have to be able to flirt with life and make it your “bitch” (which is the first word that comes to mind). But you get what I mean, make it your friend, not your enemy. Love it instead of hating it and romantically make it what you want for you. No struggles needed just challenges looking for you to become better at this thing called life.
I was molested when I was little and its something you never forget no matter how hard you try. One thing that has helped me when I am having a low moment, is writing. Which is one of the reasons I titled my blog Freedom Literature because I feel like you are able to leave all those emotions, that are hard to say, on paper. Below is a poem I found on the rape joke, take a moment to read it.
The rape joke is that you were eight.
The rape joke is that at the time,
you didn’t know people had sex to express love.
The rape joke is that the only other person
who’d seen you naked was your mom.
The rape joke is that he called you ‘beautiful’ first.
The rape joke is that he held your hands together
and told you to ‘try harder’ when you struggled.
The rape joke is that you believed him
when he told you were overreacting.
The rape joke is that your grandma
called him a nice boy and asked him to stay for dinner.
The rape joke is that he winked at you
when you apologized to your parents for not coming
downstairs the first time you were called.
The rape joke is that his friends
high-fived him for “getting some.”
The rape joke is that you still don’t feel like
you’ve regrown the pieces he stole.
The rape joke is that he was conceived when his
dad slapped himself into his snoring mother.
The rape joke is that her friends told her
she was lucky someone wanted her.
The rape joke is that each year in the United States,
32,000 other women’s bellies
ripen with life against their will.
The rape joke is that he never learned
to touch without scarring.
The rape joke is that your classmate thinks
‘have you seen what asses look like in yoga pants?’
is an argument.
The rape joke is your new boyfriend kissing
you and telling you he ‘raped’ his math test.
The rape joke is that ‘Why are girls so scared of rape? Y’all should feel pride that a guy risked his life in jail just to fuck you’
is a popular Tweet right now.
The rape joke is that you wake up to
the memory of him laughing,
“now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
The rape joke is that it’s been twelve years and
you still quiver when someone touches you.
The rape joke is that he hasn’t stopped laughing.
The rape joke is that you forgot how to.”
Luke 12:29-31: And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.