Sometimes there are secrets that can’t be told or feelings that can’t be felt. The intensity of the emotions are too hurtful to face. Unable to confront your past it’s hard to deal with your present and intolerable to imagine the future.
How did you get here or how did everything get out of hand? How is it that you can’t express your emotions? Because they are entangled in your heart along with the memories that hurt you and won’t let you have peace. Unable to function with what life has given you and only able to think about how bad it all is. It seems impossible the thought of you being able to get out of this state of mind. It seems as though no matter what you do, life hands you another pack of issues to deal with. How do you withstand the changes and how life fluctuates right before your eyes without a warning? All you have to go by is faith, faith in what? The missing factor in your life. You always have had faith but you continue to deal with all this hurt and mistrust everyday of your life. Why you? How come you are not normal, able to feel normal? How is it that despite all your good deeds, all your efforts to help others it’s still not enough to get you by with a little bit of slack, a little bit of peace? You try to sleep and the pain awakens you, the loneliness haunts you and you’re unable to get rid of it. Your eyes weep from fear and the tears just don’t stop. No matter what you do they just won’t stop.
You cover your eyes, shut them closed in hopes of opening them and realizing that it’s going to be okay. That you will be okay, that all of your fears will go away and you will be able to breathe. As if you were being relieved of all the pain, heaviness in your heart and all the memories which cause you harm. The world turns into a better place and you smile. Your smile is the start of a fresh day with hope of all beautiful things about to happen for you. And it’s at that moment when you realized that you can do this thing called life, that you will be okay, that there is no doubt you will be able to make it no matter how hard life becomes. Your dreams are obtainable, they are realistic. All your pain subsides and you no longer feel that heaviness which haunted you every day. Your life changes for the better and your faith returns, your faith in God your faith in YOU!
How I truly feel tonight?
That’s the question of the night. How do I put all of my feelings of anxiety and peace all in one page. I can’t help the way that I am, neither can I help the way I feel. Can I help how I act out my feelings? Yes, I will, and so I do. I continuously revise and review my situations, so I act out the way I’m meant to act out or not act out at all.
On another note, I am being impulsive and changing my mind about different situations all of a sudden because I rather concentrate on other issues rather than what I am really going to be facing, and that is a rotator cuff repair.
How do I ease myself and emotions into my life? And something my son just said made so much sense, it was completely out of context, but he said “you gotta flirt”. Honestly you have to just love life and everything that comes with it. We can’t continuously fight against the truth that lies before us, sometimes we have to learn to accept and say it will be okay. Not everything that will come towards us will be things we like, but its okay because it will pass, and it will get better. Now lets not ignore our feelings for the things we are facing, its okay to be scared, and its okay to cry because of it. But you have to be able to flirt with life and make it your “bitch” (which is the first word that comes to mind). But you get what I mean, make it your friend, not your enemy. Love it instead of hating it and romantically make it what you want for you. No struggles needed just challenges looking for you to become better at this thing called life.
Unfortunately, these past couple of days I haven’t been feeling too well. I have so much going on and so many appointments to keep up with.
I’m taking this moment to set aside by busy life and share something with you guys.
I’ve been thinking about something that has helped me through out life dealing with people disappointing me.
ACCEPTANCE IS KEY
If there is one thing that hurts us is being disappointed time and time again. My advice to you is, learn to accept people for who they are and what they have to offer. Also, it’s very important for you to understand that when doing something for somebody else, do it from the heart and not expecting nothing in return. It is at that moment in our lives when we feel let down by others. We find ourselves time and time again saying, but I did this for that person how come they don’t do this for me or I helped this person with such problem how come when I needed them they were not around.
We have to keep in mind that not everyone is just like you. Not everyone is willing to do for others like you would do for them. As time goes by, you will learn what you can expect from others. The things that they will be willing to do and not to do for you. Also, you will learn, what predicaments you put yourself in. When doing a favor for someone, do it because you want to, don’t do it expecting something in return. This way you will learn how to lessen the disappointments you have to live with in life.
This has worked for me. Not saying the people that won’t return a favor are horrible people, it’s just a matter of being realistic.
This where I write about everyday life situations. I welcome you to my world and I hope you enjoy it.
One thing that I enjoy to do is read. If you would have asked me 3 years ago if I liked to read, there was no way someone could make read a book. Now in days reading is all I do. Its something I believe feeds your mind and soul, of course you have to read the write things. My preferences are inspirational stories, christian stories and I absolutely love history. I became obsessed about World War II. I researched online, read books, watched documentaries just to learn every little bit I could.
In my down time, I enjoy reality TV. I know, I know, but I like to watch Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Its a cool show to watch when you just want to chill and give your brain a break. Among other things that I like is dancing and watching movies with the family.