Sometimes there are secrets that can’t be told or feelings that can’t be felt. The intensity of the emotions are too hurtful to face. Unable to confront your past it’s hard to deal with your present and intolerable to imagine the future.
How did you get here or how did everything get out of hand? How is it that you can’t express your emotions? Because they are entangled in your heart along with the memories that hurt you and won’t let you have peace. Unable to function with what life has given you and only able to think about how bad it all is. It seems impossible the thought of you being able to get out of this state of mind. It seems as though no matter what you do, life hands you another pack of issues to deal with. How do you withstand the changes and how life fluctuates right before your eyes without a warning? All you have to go by is faith, faith in what? The missing factor in your life. You always have had faith but you continue to deal with all this hurt and mistrust everyday of your life. Why you? How come you are not normal, able to feel normal? How is it that despite all your good deeds, all your efforts to help others it’s still not enough to get you by with a little bit of slack, a little bit of peace? You try to sleep and the pain awakens you, the loneliness haunts you and you’re unable to get rid of it. Your eyes weep from fear and the tears just don’t stop. No matter what you do they just won’t stop.
You cover your eyes, shut them closed in hopes of opening them and realizing that it’s going to be okay. That you will be okay, that all of your fears will go away and you will be able to breathe. As if you were being relieved of all the pain, heaviness in your heart and all the memories which cause you harm. The world turns into a better place and you smile. Your smile is the start of a fresh day with hope of all beautiful things about to happen for you. And it’s at that moment when you realized that you can do this thing called life, that you will be okay, that there is no doubt you will be able to make it no matter how hard life becomes. Your dreams are obtainable, they are realistic. All your pain subsides and you no longer feel that heaviness which haunted you every day. Your life changes for the better and your faith returns, your faith in God your faith in YOU!
How I truly feel tonight?
That’s the question of the night. How do I put all of my feelings of anxiety and peace all in one page. I can’t help the way that I am, neither can I help the way I feel. Can I help how I act out my feelings? Yes, I will, and so I do. I continuously revise and review my situations, so I act out the way I’m meant to act out or not act out at all.
On another note, I am being impulsive and changing my mind about different situations all of a sudden because I rather concentrate on other issues rather than what I am really going to be facing, and that is a rotator cuff repair.
How do I ease myself and emotions into my life? And something my son just said made so much sense, it was completely out of context, but he said “you gotta flirt”. Honestly you have to just love life and everything that comes with it. We can’t continuously fight against the truth that lies before us, sometimes we have to learn to accept and say it will be okay. Not everything that will come towards us will be things we like, but its okay because it will pass, and it will get better. Now lets not ignore our feelings for the things we are facing, its okay to be scared, and its okay to cry because of it. But you have to be able to flirt with life and make it your “bitch” (which is the first word that comes to mind). But you get what I mean, make it your friend, not your enemy. Love it instead of hating it and romantically make it what you want for you. No struggles needed just challenges looking for you to become better at this thing called life.
You guys might wonder why I have named my website Freedom Literature. After so many trials and tribulation I have learned that writing is the way I kept my sanity. When I right down how I feel, especially when all seems gray in my life, writing helps me get some clarity on my thoughts. To some this might seem crazy or non-sense but for me it has been a way of life. The majority of all my writing is directed to God, He is the only friend that will never leave my side and who knows me better than anyone else.
I saw a movie called “Freedom Writers” and this movie is based on a true story about troubled teens caught in an undeclared war in their own backyards. This story takes place in the middle of the Rodney King riots, when gangs were taking over the streets. Some of these teens were homeless, being molested by family members, watched their mother getting beat by their father, were put out in the street to beg for money and forced into gangs because of their families. These teens saw a light at the end of the tunnel when they met a teacher who actually cared about them as human beings. It wasn’t easy for her but she never gave up and got through to them and became their best friend. One thing she did was introduce them to writing and how it can help you deal with your problems. This movies was my inspiration to start this blog. I already knew how important it was for me to write about things I went through and I felt as though I should share my writing with the world. I always said I never wanted my pain, suffering and tears to be in vain. This blog is my way of reaching out to the public.
I have met people through this blog, but there is this one person named Michael, he asked if I take prayer requests, I said I didn’t but that I would start because I felt a conviction in my spirit that its a wonderful idea. So apart from sharing my writing with you through short stories, poems, Spanish literature, I am now taking prayer requests. To me, making this addition, is a very serious matter and I will pray for whatsoever you need me to pray for. If you wish to keep your prayer requests confidential, I will do so, just email me at email@example.com.
I thank you for your continuing support and welcome you to browse through the blog!!
I ask that you be patient with me while I get my website exactly how I want it. I’ve been trying to do this for some time now but find myself frustrated with the process and stop. I have decided to commit to it and get over the imperfections until its just right.
I welcome constructive criticism. Apart from that, remember what our mothers always taught us “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 🙂
I hope that I accomplish all the goals I have set for myself via this website. I am a very passionate person and put my ALL into everything I do. I pray God gives me the wisdom to reach out to people in need.
This where I write about everyday life situations. I welcome you to my world and I hope you enjoy it.
One thing that I enjoy to do is read. If you would have asked me 3 years ago if I liked to read, there was no way someone could make read a book. Now in days reading is all I do. Its something I believe feeds your mind and soul, of course you have to read the write things. My preferences are inspirational stories, christian stories and I absolutely love history. I became obsessed about World War II. I researched online, read books, watched documentaries just to learn every little bit I could.
In my down time, I enjoy reality TV. I know, I know, but I like to watch Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Its a cool show to watch when you just want to chill and give your brain a break. Among other things that I like is dancing and watching movies with the family.